Healing Myself by Venetia Sjogren (a Poem)

there was no need to wave wands
conjure spells or mix magic potions
I did not languish lupine under pale, full moons
nor speak in mystical tongues
no depressants were dispensed
late night drinking, crying and life-bashing
with friends, was avoided
I did not vacillate between telephoning doctors
and damning them to perdition
nor did I spend nights oscillating between a false bravado
and Ophelia-like vapors
I simply stopped
hating my broken body
with its plaque-laden nerves
one breath
one memory
one cell
at a time
and began
to love
me
~*~
Biography:  Venetia Sjogren is disabled grandmother, who lives with multiple sclerosis and end stage kidney disease, an Afro-Latina and humanist. Her brother was born deaf and her niece has cerebral palsy thus she is acutely aware of the challenges of being (dis)abled. She reads rather indiscriminately as her books range from Sci-Fi to Anthropology. She dislikes bigots, peas, anything hazelnut and okra. I know, I know - she is a flipping screwball.  Her publication credits include Poets Against the War and Howard University’s, The Amistad.

A Hostile Take-over by Venetia Sjogren (a Poem)

I have heard it said that love starts with one's self
my conundrum—what happens when even the most basic
component of one's body commences
a revolution
causing pain, blindness, confusion and paralysis
when bastard neurons hijack all the other better parts
causing mayhem, discontent and disorder
I tell you—it is bad enough to lose beauty, youth and grace,
as one ages
bad enough to lose family, friends and lovers
to accidents and other misfortunes
but when the body attempts its hostile take-over
when your bathroom has become a miniature pharmacopoeia
when neurons mis-fire like an epileptic, drunk
whilst doing ballet around an oak tree,
daubed in blue and howling at the moon, simultaneously
it becomes a battle I tire of fighting
one that I have decided to concede
let the neurons have their vainglorious victory
let them have the spoils—
my broken body
~*~
Biography:  Venetia Sjogren is disabled grandmother, who lives with multiple sclerosis and end stage kidney disease, an Afro-Latina and humanist. Her brother was born deaf and her niece has cerebral palsy thus she is acutely aware of the challenges of being (dis)abled. She reads rather indiscriminately as her books range from Sci-Fi to Anthropology. She dislikes bigots, peas, anything hazelnut and okra. I know, I know - she is a flipping screwball.  Her publication credits include Poets Against the War and Howard University’s, The Amistad.

4 Favorites from Breath & Shadow Fall 2019

Note:  You can click on each title to go.  Also, in the interest of full disclosure, I had a poem published in this magazine years ago.

The fall 2019 edition of Breath & Shadow is another great issue. There was a grandmother phoenix, a relationship brought to its knees by religion, a broken spice bottle as a symbol of something bigger, and more.  You should check it out, if you haven't already.

In no particular order, my four favorite pieces from the issue:

1.  "Drown" by Elizabeth Devine
This short poem is gorgeous... and dark.  It takes on what toxic relationships or the world can demand of us (just my interpretation).  Each image is crisp.

2. Content Warning:  Drug use/Overdose/Suicide
"The Ghosts Who Carry Us" by Elizabeth Devine
A sad and difficult prose piece on addiction, who we lose, and how we carry on.

3.  "You Ask Me Why I Wear Bright Colors" by Jennifer Bradpiece
A poem on the colors associated with different aspects of (chronic) pain.  The end of the poem has quite an impact.

4.  "Masquerading Stranger" by Karen Craig
Multiple sclerosis (referred to as Ms) stalks the narrator.  The personification of the disease and prescribed medications added a nice, compelling tension to the story.

Article in The Philadelphia Inquirer

*Please don't harass the author of the article.  I realize she may need education in matters of the cripverse, but she's just doing her job in a society that fed her the same inspo-shit we grew up on. 

"These businesses are taking special-needs employees from Disability to ThisAbility, one hire at a time" the title says in black across the page of a Philadelphia periodical.  I'm already rolling my eyes before I even read the rest (click here for the article).  The term "special-needs" needs to have a gruesome, unmourned death.  And I love the implication of employment erasing our disabilities, as though working makes us "normal".

"Employees with intellectual and developmental disabilities are having a moment," boldly proclaims the first line of the piece.  Why are they having a moment?  Because they're finally starting to be hired by companies!  Wow, what a moment!  I'm so glad the glorious, sparkly spotlight of arrival was being treated like every other fucking person on the planet.  We have reached our zenith, fellow cripples, we're getting scraps of attention and treatment slightly on par with the ableds.  Hallelujah.

The article then has four snapshots of employees at different businesses with quick descriptions.  After the photos, it says:  "I could name the 'conditions' of these men and women, but that would be antithesis to what the hiring wave is about for a new brand of progressive employers..."  No, it wouldn't be "antithesis" because what you're hawking is that these companies are so incredible for taking a chance on this previously-unhired minority with all their overlooked skills and prominent drawbacks.  You might as well put the third ring on the circus and name their spooky "other".  Note:  Near the bottom of the article there is another photo with the caption, "Tom Byrne, who is on the autism spectrum, is known to be a friendly and well-liked greeter/attendant at Eagles games played at Lincoln Financial Field."

"They’ve learned that these employees don’t bring disability to the workplace."  Yes, they do.  This sentence is disingenuous.  Our bosses often don't want to legally accommodate us, so telling people that gimps are "normal" at their jobs is harmful to us.  Plus, this feeds the "overcoming" narrative which causes many disabled people harm because we injure ourselves and our mental health trying to be "better" than our disabilities or neurodivergences.

"They bring this-ability — a unique set of talents and gifts — the way all individuals do, while enriching a company’s bottom line — and making fans of their bosses..."  If it's truly the way "all individuals do", why the inspoporn slant of the article?  Why are we worshipping at the feet of the saintly employers if we possess what others do?  Hmmm...

"The knee-jerk discrimination they experience is as wrong as any that’s based on race or gender."  Isn't it sad that someone still thinks this needs saying in 2019?  Then again, it could...

"My hope is that business leaders who read this special section will sign on to strengthen the momentum — one inspired hire at time." Why would the hires be inspiring?  Oh, right... cripples.  We're really appealing to feel-good ableists to persuade them to hire disabled and/or neurodivergent people.  But, I thought we had things every other employee has!
~*~
Other notes:  
Autism Speaks was mentioned for creating jobs for neurodivergent people.
The word "special" appears four times in this article.
The journalist mentions "neurodivergent" in regards to everyone with a developmental or intellectual disability and, while I'm not an expert, I believe this is false.

Endeavors and Media Coverage

There is a huge difference between how able-bodied people who start an organization or program for disabled people are covered in media, and how cripples are covered for starting something similar for our community.  Ableds are seen as our selfless saviors, bringing culture/comfort/access to the pitiful "other".  Our start-ups get significantly less coverage... unless it's inspoporn.

Since our community gets less media attention (and a more skewed focus) when our own projects come to light, it can impact our chances to secure funding.  Newspaper articles can be a great way draw the attention of potential donors, especially on a local level.  Plus, disabled people might not know about opportunities available to them because of the lack of reporting.

The amount of gimp-led organizations and projects scraping by on small, crowd-funded efforts versus able-bodied ones getting large grants and corporate donations is huge.  Announcements of funding and partnerships abound!  Of course,  ableists will say we're too ignorant or lazy to properly get funded, but people who aren't bigots see a different story.

How our financial needs or efforts are narrated varies, too.  Eight different articles for able-bodied ventures (since January) have entire paragraphs on funding assistance!  Every one but two I've seen for our community mentioned it in the last line of the piece (if at all).  Maybe different periodicals have different policies on money.  Maybe a lot of the projects started by us already have all the backing they need... doubtful.
~*~
I'm not saying programs and things started by able-bodied people for our community don't help us or deserve the money and promotion they need to thrive, but the difference in the amount of coverage, the slant of the articles, and the disparity in attention to our financial needs is all bullshit.  An endeavor isn't less worthy because it's run by a wheelchair-user.  Journalists need to stop acting like it.

D&ND Creatives List

The words "Disabled & Neurodivergent Creatives" are written in blue in the middle of a white background. There is one blue paint splotch above the words in the middle, and two on the bottom of the words on each side. In the top right-hand corner, there is a small brown paintbrush with a swipe of blue paint dotting the i in "creatives". 

The list is here!  It's finally happening!  Introducing The Disabled & Neurodivergent Creatives List (click here for link).

For the last year, I tried to figure out how to create a list for disabled and/or neurodivergent artists.  I didn't want to do a disservice to our community by shoehorning it in a small tab on this space.  The thought of having it totally disconnected from The Handy, Uncapped Pen wasn't something I relished.  So, I just let the idea sit.  But, nothing ever happens if it stays a mere idea, so I decided to go for it.
~*~
Each creator will have a post with their name, types of art/creativity worked in, links to their social media, links to their work, etc.  After the post is made, the artist will be added to the page at the top.  Artists will be added to the page in alphabetical order by last name.

Want more information (including how to submit)?  We have a FAQ (click here).  The first post on the blog also gives the submission procedure.

Cripple Rants: The Cripless Sims

Notes: Video game design is an art form. There is swearing.

The Sims is as a series started on computer in the year 2000. It's almost 20 years old. Millions of people around the world enjoy bringing characters of their own creation to life. But, it falls horrifyingly short for the world's largest minority. 

I am an avid Sims player. I've made people of all ages, colors, genders, etc. I've had white, cis characters climb the career ladder and I've had badass Asian, trans folx find love. There are vampires, witches, ghosts, and aliens in my neighborhoods. However, there are no disabled people. What the fuck?

Of course, they offered an extremely problematic take on mental illness at one point. You could have a Sim (character) that had an "insane trait" which had a straitjacket as an icon. After some pushback, the developers relabeled this "erratic". It's as close as we've ever gotten to representation of disabled, mentally ill, or neurodivergent Sims. 

Some people will say to me, "Everyone in The Sims is the same height, so short or tall people aren't represented. There are no nonbinary Sims." and this is true. To say gimps need representation in The Sims isn't saying other people don't deserve to be represented. It's just... shitty that so many of us can't create people like us in a game with the selling point of making who you want. Why is a purple alien more possible to them than my crippled ass?

Just like in real life, I notice a lot of the public buildings my Sims visit aren't wheelchair accessible. Will the developers have to alter too many buildings? Can they not figure out the physics of a rollator? Is it too hard to program a guide dog? My witch can clone herself, but God forbid she have crutches or need regular appointments with her psychiatrist. 

Not every game needs to exactly reflect our society. But, a simulation game proclaiming we can make the world we want to see leaving us out entirely is a huge oversight. The only other possibility I can think of is the developers are positive no one wants to see cripples in a "perfect world".