Disability in Erotica (Sexual Post, NOT Explicit)

Most disabled/neurodivergent people have or want a romantic (and/or sexual) relationship with someone else.  Society, with few exceptions, can't comprehend this.  A fair amount of the ones who can, fall under the devotee category.

Regardless of your feelings on disability devotees, a fair amount of crippled sex stories probably originated because of them; I can't say for certain but, because people often listen to (and cater to) the able-bodied/neurotypical before us.... it's a fair bet in my eyes.
And many erotica stories that feature disability are still written by able-bodied writers.  Not a surprise, I know.

It is important for every type of person to see characters like themselves in all types of stories and adventures, even sexually explicit ones.  I contend, it is especially vital for representations of disabled/neurodivergent adults to show up in sex/body positive erotica.  Many of us internalize the crap society feeds us and can feel not worthy or capable of a relationship or sex.  It is even worse for someone who was fed the lies and misinformation as an able-bodied/neurotypical person and became different later in life.
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Most of the sex stories featuring disabled/neurodivergent people are for the gratification of the able-bodied.  Some have a fetish for wheelchairs, crutches, caretaking.  Others find titillation in something they consider strange or odd.  There are even people who like the fact that "gimps can't fight back" and are therefore "easier to control" and that's what they want to read about.  It can be scary out there, folks.

But there are gemstone stories out there.  Stories where disabled people are partners, seducers, masters of the bedroom.  Where we are as desirable and confident as any vixen or Don Juan, where pleasure is given and received with carnal delight and embarrassing situations, if they occur, are handled with humor and grace.  I just wish said stories weren't so damn difficult to find.
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I'm not saying every single disabled/neurodivergent adult should read erotica.  A lot of people find it dull, ridiculous, or just plain icky.  I also realize there are asexual people within our group who are perfectly content never having a physical relationship.  But the stories should be out there for those who do want them.  They should be available for those who change their minds about reading them, or for those who are tired of being told to go paint a picture when they want to be out in the world, hitting on people.

The stories should be written by more of us.  So much caters to what the able-bodied want to see.
Every erotic story I have read about people like us has not mentioned the "unpleasant" (to the majority) stuff.  There have been no stories where lifts are used as position enhancers.  No stories about peeing on a partner during a moment where it was not intended.  And almost no stories where both partners were disabled/neurodivergent.

So, if you ever find yourself wanting to write "the sexy stuff", go for it.  You never know who you could encourage, embolden, by not closing the door on the bedroom.

Other Minorities in Your Cause

Recently, in an online group, one of the better-known disabled poets said something prejudice.  She wanted to know:  How do you invite people into your group who don't include people like you?  Valid enough question, until she specifically calls out organisations for people of color and LBGTQIAPN individuals.

So many able-bodied organisations don't include disabled and/or neurodivergent people.  But, yet, she pointed out those for other minorities.

Possibly, she feels all minorities need to look out for each other (like we do at H.U.P.) and is disappointed that it doesn't often happen but, in her post, she makes it sound like she is ready to cut other minorities out of her group because there is no representation of disability in their groups.  And that's wrong.

It doesn't matter what other organisations do.  It doesn't matter what certain individuals in various other groups believe.  If you truly believe in equality, you make sure to include as many diverse people in your organisation as possible.  You seek out those who would bring something valuable, not caring if other people would do the same.

Often, minorities are so busy lobbying and promoting their own causes or their own equality to the masses, they sometimes don't think about joining forces or promoting the causes of others.  Some people think, to raise up other minorities, means dampening (or even silencing) the needs of people like themselves.  Because of this, it can feel like we're at odds with each other, instead of each other's allies.

For people who embody multiple marginalizations, the mindset of keeping to your own "set" of people means they fall through the cracks.  What of the Asian cripple, or the gay person with autism?  They exist in a space often outside of any group because they are part of multiple groups.  If everyone helped everyone else, there would be no one left wondering "what about me, which group am I in?".

Playing the game of "I'll only help you if you help me first" or "you didn't let me in your club, so you're banned from mine" is childish at least, and selfish/prejudice at worst.

Clamoring for rights, everyone's rights, no matter what group you belong to, benefits us all.  More voices, more unity.  All for one, and one for all.