Friday, June 24, 2016

Disability in Erotica (Sexual Post, NOT Explicit)

Most disabled/neurodivergent people have or want a romantic (and/or sexual) relationship with someone else.  Society, with few exceptions, can't comprehend this.  A fair amount of the ones who can, fall under the devotee category.

Regardless of your feelings on disability devotees, a fair amount of crippled sex stories probably originated because of them; I can't say for certain but, because people often listen to (and cater to) the able-bodied/neurotypical before us.... it's a fair bet in my eyes.
And many erotica stories that feature disability are still written by able-bodied writers.  Not a surprise, I know.

It is important for every type of person to see characters like themselves in all types of stories and adventures, even sexually explicit ones.  I contend, it is especially vital for representations of disabled/neurodivergent adults to show up in sex/body positive erotica.  Many of us internalize the crap society feeds us and can feel not worthy or capable of a relationship or sex.  It is even worse for someone who was fed the lies and misinformation as an able-bodied/neurotypical person and became different later in life.
Most of the sex stories featuring disabled/neurodivergent people are for the gratification of the able-bodied.  Some have a fetish for wheelchairs, crutches, caretaking.  Others find titillation in something they consider strange or odd.  There are even people who like the fact that "gimps can't fight back" and are therefore "easier to control" and that's what they want to read about.  It can be scary out there, folks.

But there are gemstone stories out there.  Stories where disabled people are partners, seducers, masters of the bedroom.  Where we are as desirable and confident as any vixen or Don Juan, where pleasure is given and received with carnal delight and embarrassing situations, if they occur, are handled with humor and grace.  I just wish said stories weren't so damn difficult to find.
I'm not saying every single disabled/neurodivergent adult should read erotica.  A lot of people find it dull, ridiculous, or just plain icky.  I also realize there are asexual people within our group who are perfectly content never having a physical relationship.  But the stories should be out there for those who do want them.  They should be available for those who change their minds about reading them, or for those who are tired of being told to go paint a picture when they want to be out in the world, hitting on people.

The stories should be written by more of us.  So much caters to what the able-bodied want to see.
Every erotic story I have read about people like us has not mentioned the "unpleasant" (to the majority) stuff.  There have been no stories where lifts are used as position enhancers.  No stories about peeing on a partner during a moment where it was not intended.  And almost no stories where both partners were disabled/neurodivergent.

So, if you ever find yourself wanting to write "the sexy stuff", go for it.  You never know who you could encourage, embolden, by not closing the door on the bedroom.

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