Thursday, October 1, 2020

Not for Me by Julie Stevens

When I want to disappear
I look down at my feet,
imagine my head nestling under my toes,
or I wear my smile
overflowing with happiness and hope they won’t notice.

But there’s butterflies in my tummy
flying so fast I might fall over.
If I bite my nails or twiddle my hair,
they might decide it’s time to rest
just for a minute.

Today’s the day I don’t want to be here,
today’s the day I didn’t want to get dressed,
so I’ll wear my mask
pretend to be happy,
walk with them
looking my best.

Julie Stevens lives in Cambridge, UK. She has had Multiple Sclerosis (MS) for 30 years. Her poems tend to reflect the impact MS has on her life, as well as other topics close to her heart. Her poems have recently been published in various magazines, online and in print, most recently The Blue NibCrossways, The Honest Ulsterman and Dreich Magazine. She came second in the Dreich Chapbook Competition with her chapbook Quicksand. Her website is

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